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In Our Blood: A Memoir
![In Our Blood: A Memoir by [Caitlin Billings]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41tIJI9if2L._SY346_.jpg)
In Our Blood by Caitlin Billings is a memoir highlighting Billings’ struggle balancing her mental health issues as a licensed therapist. Throughout the book she details her past traumas and the underlying mental health issues that came to light because of them. To add to her battle, she also needs to learn how to navigate parenting a child with issues mirroring her own.
As you read more into the memoir, Billings writes of her feelings of failure as a parent when she learns her oldest child experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a family member. This causes her to relapse heavily as she berates herself for not being able to protect her child. This same child also undergoes a slow transition from female to male and struggles with their own mental health crises throughout the book.
As someone who also struggles with mental illness and similar past experiences to Billings, this book was extremely triggering for me to read. However, I thought she did an amazing job documenting what so many people who struggle with mental illness go through. The unsavory thoughts that come with low points and the chronic ups and downs experienced during mental health episodes were incredibly accurate to my own.
Every person’s mental health journey is their own and I commend Billings for being so candid with hers. At some points, I found myself frustrated with her actions and it helped me put into perspective how others may feel when I have acted similarly. I also need to give ultimate kudos to Billings husband for never giving up on her or their family, especially with everything the family had to experience.
In Our Blood is an impassioned memoir that shares an authentic journey. Despite the uncomfortable similarities between her life and my own, I thought this was an incredible depiction of mental illness and the struggles that come along with a diagnosis. In Our Blood is an important piece of mental health literature and should be a must-read for anyone looking for personal experiences with mental illness.
I do want to note that some chapters may be triggering for anyone who has struggled with eating disorders, sexual assault, or thoughts of suicide. Otherwise, I think these topics are handled with care in the book and discussed in a way that explores the issues in respectful but important ways.
Pages: 256 | ASIN: B09CCSTRH2
Her Secret Shocked Me
The Women’s Meeting follows a doctor who facilitates a women’s meeting and is slowly pulled into her dark past as the women reveal their past traumas. What was the inspiration for the setup to your story?
I was inspired to write this book after a close friend revealed that she has endured domestic violence for the past twelve years. Her secret shocked me. I realized then that we all have split personalities. We show one face to the public and only reveal the other face in private or when necessary.
The characters in your book are intriguing and well developed. What were some driving ideals behind your character’s development?
I just wanted the characters to feel real, and I wanted the readers to connect with them in a way that elicits compassion and understanding. Sometimes it’s easy to say what we would do, or how we would not remain in a relationship with domestic abuse. But, as I wrote, sometimes all you can do is live the best way you know how. Unfortunately, not all of us know how to turn our lemons into lemon pie.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
The primary theme is of the reality of domestic abuse, and how it remains one of the best kept secrets behind many doors in our society.
Secondly, I wanted to address how abuse affects one’s livelihood regardless of whether you’re the abused one or a by-stander. Violence has a way of seeping through the pores of one’s skin and affect how we think, feel, live, and survive in a world of fear.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
I have published a book since this one entitled, Abigail Henley, A Southern Tragedy. Initially, this book takes us back to a time in history that many of us long to forget. But, unfortunately, the reality of racial discrimination and police bias is still a real problem in our justice system. You cannot fix a problem that you don’t admit exists.
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Anita, the pastor’s wife, lives a fantasy created by her parents, her husband, and the congregation. She is a character in a play, and her husband is the director. Unlike the theater, the action is real, the beatings are real, and her fear is real.
Ernestine Johnson is a woman driven by her quest for love. At the age of ten, her world is turned upside down when her father goes to prison, and her mother becomes a drug addict. To survive, she quickly learns the value of her body and before long she knows how to get whatever she wants except love.
Toni Brown is a woman trapped by hate and vengeance, and she is determined to punish the man who stole her life. Trapped in a basement for three years where she is raped, beaten, and tortured until she is totally defeated.
Candace Carter, the youngest of the four women, is trapped in a world of sex, pornography, and prostitution. Abandoned, molested and abused from the age of five, she is vulnerable to manipulation, and there is one man all too eager to exploit her to death.
Eventually, all the women, including Dr. Morrison, confront the horrors of their truths, but not all of them survive their realities.
They Are Fun To Explore
The Red Grouse Tales is a collection of speculative short stories conveying thought-provoking ideas through the stories of average people. What was the inspiration for the ideas behind your stories?
That is a difficult question to answer; where does inspiration come from? I suppose I feel that our world is pretty amoral – yes, it is immoral as well – and so ideas and themes relating to some form of morality interest me. As regards the writing of a story, some parts come amazingly easily, whereas others have to be really worked on. If I tell you that I wrote the central section of ‘The Golden Tup’ all in just a few days, whereas I worked up three different endings for ‘The Little Dog’ story, before finally settling on the one that I chose, you’ll get the idea. I am not a fan of ‘penny dreadful’s’ and like stories to be ‘plausible’ even if we know that they actually aren’t. So inevitably my stories tend to start slowly; one needs to set the scene and then introduce the story into it as though it really did happen. Most of the stories in our own lives start without us realising it and it is only when we are reasonably well into it that we realise that something is happening, or indeed has happened. My personal preference is for stories that have a bit of meat to them, so writers who have influenced me include Joseph Conrad, William Golding and Herman Hesse. I also owe a huge debt of gratitude to David Almond – who, by the way, lives just up the valley from me – for his book ‘Skellig’. The surreal concept of finding a real life angel in a garage just did it for me – wonderful! – and made me realise that my ideas were not so outlandish after all and could make stories, and it was this story of his that got me started on writing.
Your characters are felt unique but authentic. What were some driving ideals behind your character’s development?
This question is not dissimilar to the previous one. Whereas one or two of my characters are almost, and I must emphasise the ‘almost’, a direct copy from life, most are made up. I suppose all characters are a mix of people who I have come across plus a bit of imagination, and I suspect the story also helps to drive the character. As a writer you have to ask yourself what sort of person would do this or that, behave in this or that way, and then you try and write the character to fit.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
As you pick up on in your review, evil was probably the main theme; it and how people react to it. The Little Dog explores evil in a person and The Golden Tup evil in a place. The Crow is primarily about vanity and how it can distort an individual’s view of others and events, whereas The White Hart is at heart a battle of the sexes story, with a rather sexist male stance gradually being seen for what it is. Of course I enjoyed throwing in observations about life and death, the naivety of youth, religion and the concepts of good and evil and, as already mentioned, the battle of the sexes. All these are old favourites, but they are fun to explore.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
I am currently writing a trilogy loosely based on Dante’s Divine Comedy. For this I am borrowing from my civil engineering background and making the first part about the construction of a tunnel, the second about the surveying of a road and the third about the construction of a bridge. These will be modern day versions of Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso. I am adjusting the stories of course, but broadly speaking the general theme will be the same; namely that of the protagonist discovering himself, coupled with a rather sad love affair. So far I am well on with the first two parts, though have yet to make a start on the third. When will it be available? My wife died recently, so my personal life is in a bit of a mess at present, So I would guess at, at least a year from now at the earliest. However, if readers are wanting another book, I have two novellas to choose from; The Bat and The Blue Horse; as well as an award winning novel, The Ghost Moth.
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The Little Dog – a story of good and evil and retribution. Bill, a retired forester, recounts a week in his early working life when he was paired with an unsavoury workmate. This commences with them finding a little domestic dog sitting beside a forest haul-road way out in a remote part of the forest. As Bill wonders what this little dog is doing in such an unlikely location the week becomes increasingly uncomfortable. When the little dog disappears events take an unexpected turn and our young troubled and naive Bill starts to learn some awful truths.
The Golden Tup – a dreadful tale of paradise being cruelly taken by latent evil. This story opens with the shocking news that a nice young couple have killed their new born baby. How could they have done such a dreadful thing? Our narrator, Verity, recalls how the pair bought an old derelict farmhouse and commenced renovating it; creating their own paradise. However, their felling of an old tree changed everything.
The Crow – a poignant tale of misunderstanding, dying, bitterness and blame. As a child, David, is taken to a hospice by his mother where he finds himself listening to an increasingly mad tale told by a dying and embittered old Irish priest. But why do the old priest’s recollections of the school days and subsequent rise of a local councillor become so increasingly bizarre and bitter?
The White Hart – a happy ghost story, if there can be such a thing! What might connect a chance encounter with a little albino deer, an equally unexpected meeting with a beautiful, but somewhat enigmatic young girl in a remote chapel, and a third, just as strange an incident, on a windswept hillside? Pete Montague, relates a redemptive, happy ghost story – if there can be such a thing!
I Was About To Lose A Tooth
Uncle Bill’s Missing Tooth takes readers on a fun rhyming journey to find out how uncle Bill lost his tooth. What was the inspiration for the setup to your story?
It literally came to me in the middle of the night! I suddenly woke up and the idea flashed into my mind, escaped through an ear but then luckily jumped back in. I thought it might be a sign I was about to lose a tooth, but fortunately I’ve managed to hold on to my entire set since then, despite a fondness for cake.
I loved the art in the book. What was the art collaboration process like with illustrator Lizzie Nelson?
It was wonderful, even though we were on opposite sides of the world. Lizzie is in the U.S. and I lived in Singapore then London during the book’s creation. I say wonderful mostly because Lizzie is lovely, funny and smart (we’ve known each other since school days) and came up with all the good visual ideas! I’m proud to be part of a publication that includes probably the first ever illustration of a tooth that breaks wind.
There were lots of humorous scenes in the book. What was your favorite scene from the book?
I enjoyed the idea of dastardly animal poachers getting their comeuppance. Instead of making off with an elephant’s giant tusk, they ended up with Bill’s piddly tooth. Lizzie’s beautiful safari illustrations were the icing on the cake. Did I mention that I like cake?
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
Lizzie and I are almost done on another fun rhyming story called The Extra-Gifted Mr Fripp about a teacher who shocks his class by revealing a sixth finger on one hand. It’s an amusing look at how we daftly judge people based on appearances, so has something of an important message. I read it at a kids’ book festival in India and lots of people asked for a copy, which was a good sign. It certainly has more of a message than Uncle Bill’s Missing Tooth, although I feel it’s important to remind people who have a gap in their gums that they can save the effort of picking up drinks by using a very long straw.
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It’s a mystery that’s kept Lucy and Tom guessing for years: how did their uncle end up with that huge gap in his gums?
Did idiots steal it?
Did he pull it out to make drinking easier (he’s incredibly lazy)?
The 5D Of Literature
Speaks for Itself is an exceptional collection of thought-provoking and emotive poetry. What inspires you to write poetry?
It is a form of meditation about life and I feel as though I am a conduit for the words. It is a fusion of experience and language, the latter of which I wait for as if it were a message. It can be about something 20 years ago or 30 seconds but it is a retelling of the past either in present time with new revelation or maybe in another dimension in the future. That is how I see poetry. It is a linear plane meeting 2 other dimensions. It is the 5D of literature.
What were some decisions that went into choosing the poems that were included in this collection?
I have been writing for twenty-plus years; during that time I was able to hone the craft to where my voice, I feel, uniquely not only conveyed acumen but emotion. It was not a random pull ; it is all of them but the order is random.
One of my favorite poems is ‘Teacher’s Pet’. Do you have a favorite poem from this collection?
I really like all of them with the exception of a few for reasons for which I will keep to myself because I do not want to predispose anyone either way and I am sure there are some that are undoubtedly better versed in the technical nature so for that reason I want to preserve the spontaneity of feeling for the reader.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
I actually am about a few poems deep and have been previewing them on freeverse.blog or many of my social media sites. I am hoping late 2022.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Website
Just when one thinks life’s fleeting moments – from the mundane to the surreal – often have no words, Bailey shows what is gleaned from the indifference, the pain and pleasure can yield lessons that transcend the incident which provoked the intimate reflection.
At the same time his poetry embodies the notion that we are more than than the sum of our experiences – that there is a measure of gravity to our lives that is timeless and never duplicative, as is a treasured commodity.
There are no experiences that know no words.
These Horrific Crimes
Danger, Darkness and Destitution in Nineteenth Century Britain examines the life of a notorious serial killer and baby farmer, Amelia Dyer. What inspired you to write this book?
The inspiration I got from writing my book was from my history degree. I was looking for ideas for my dissertation and during my search I came across Amelia Dyer, I was so intrigued I had to research more. I went to the national archives in Kew, London and ordered to view original letters from Amelia to and from her unsuspecting victims mothers, the original newspaper adds and the original documents of Dyers time on the sentencing and after she was hung. I needed to find out as much as I could about the life of herself.
What was one thing about this time in history that surprises you the most?
The one thing that stood out for me was the lack of awareness and consequences of these actions. there was no children’s services at this time and no official way to adopt, so this made the likes of Dyers actions so easy for her to carry out. then this links to the zero support to mothers that feel like they had no other options with no regulations, and support. Dyer was not a one off there was many that chose this life and got away with it for many years.
What were some ideas that were important for you to explore in this book?
I felt what was important to explore was to highlight that in spite of these horrific crimes, this crime and conviction alone was the beginning of the NSPCC (child protection). it opened many eyes in a positive way and the realisation that child laws and regulations needed to be set in place.
I appreciated the detailed explanations in the book. What kind of research did you undertake to complete this book?
I researched thoroughly all primary sources I could find and see in person, to get the feel of it, how real it was. It was liking watching the story unfold I knew the ending but nothing I could do. then I read 2 books that included Dyers crimes and followed their reached areas that were stated in the bibliography, to then branch off my continuing research as one story always links to another.
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An Increasingly Complex Puzzle
Sixty Position With Pleasure follows a man who struggles to make sense of a mind-boggling mystery while being a politically active citizen experiencing an exciting affair. What was the inspiration for the setup to your story?
My genre is mystery thriller but in this novel, as in my previous two, I always aim to place the story in the context of an unusual setting. My first novel was set in the recent past (year 1990), my second in the present, so it was almost a logical progression to set my third in the future (year 2050). I tried to imagine what it would be like for a small mountain and lake side town in Ireland to become one of the minority of places in the world to actually benefit from climate change, through developing into a tourist hotspot. The futuristic elements are small but nevertheless significant, like the household food pot which uses genetically modified micro-organisms to churn out meat-protein, flours and spices. And the 3-D home entertainment system using holograms to create a theatre in your living room. And of course, robots, which have moved beyond ‘artificial intelligence’ to ‘artificial personality’ even to the extent of being able to make spontaneous witty comments. This futuristic town provides the background against which the mystery is played out. It starts simply enough with a hit-an-run accident, but develops into an increasingly complex puzzle, culminating in a surprise reveal and what I hope is an even bigger surprise for the second reveal at the end of the novel.
Charlie Gibbs is a fascinating character. What scene was the most interesting to write for his character?
Charlie is placed in many different scenarios, some pleasant, some difficult, all requiring him to draw on his personal resources in different ways, so it was interesting to figure out what he would do in each situation. I would have to pick out as a personal favourite the scene where the annoying alpha-male sales manager, Hogan, asks Charlie to translate into Dutch an invitation for sexy new boss, Ilse Teuling, to go out to dinner. Charlie translates, but slips into the Dutch a warning that Hogan is a total !***! and persuades Ilse to dine with himself instead.
What were some themes that were important for you to explore in this book?
Recent political events, both in the USA and the UK, are the target for the political satirical elements of the plot. Anther contemporary issue touched on is women’s rights. Also religion, though more the behaviour of ‘the religious’ rather than religion itself. However the novel is primarily intended to be an entertaining and absorbing story into which these more serious elements are lightly woven.
When and where will this book be available?
The book is currently being prepared for print, Kindle and epub formats to be sold through my website, Amazon, Smashwords and other outlets. Expected publication date last week of December, but may be a little earlier.
A Challenge In Itself
Ékleipsis: the Abyss is the second collection of short stories that explore humanity’s degeneration. What were some ideas you wanted to explore in this collection that is different from the first collection of stories?
I wanted my stories to be less predictable than those in the previous book. But in the attempt to be relatable and believable (human dark tendencies & desires), it proved to be a challenge in itself.
What has been the most surprising reader reaction you’ve received so far?
One of my readers is an aspiring writer of the same genre and they told me that my stories are not only entertaining but also inspiring. That meant a lot.
What is your creative process like in bringing these stories to life?
Most of my stories are character-driven. So, usually early in the developmental stages of a story, I create my protagonist(s). With the aid of research, interviews and other methods, I would try my best to put myself in their shoes, predicting how they would react, talk, think, etc.
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be available?
I’m currently working on my third collection in the same vein as the first two. Projected publication date is late 2022.
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What will happen when its roots take hold?
Ékleipsis: The Abyss is the second short story collection by the award-winning author.
Tales of depravation and insanity are woven together with unrelenting style and depth, scrutinizing human nature’s degeneration when compromised by tragic, vicious circumstances.
These complex, wretched individuals and the irremediable conditions they are desperate to claw out of—or into—invoke the unfathomable question: What devastation are we truly capable of when left with no way out but down . . . into the obscurity of the abyss?
LITERARY TITAN 