Blog Archives
Grief Does Get Easier
Suddenly: A Widow’s Story of Unexpected Loss and Healing shares the process you went through when your husband died suddenly, and you had to reframe your life for yourself and your daughters and find a way to endure. Why was it important to share your story with the world?
Prior to losing my husband, I read the book Radical Survivor by Nancy Saltzman. Nancy lost her husband and two young sons in a plane crash, and I was amazed by her resilience. I reread her book after my husband died, and her story inspired me to move forward. I am hoping my story has the same impact on others who have been widowed or suffered another loss.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
I feel it is really important to normalize grief. Death is a part of life, and it is easier to deal with if grief is acknowledged. I wanted to convey to my readers that grief does get easier over time. We are never going to forget our loved one, nor would we want to, but we can move forward.
Healing from a loss like yours is never easy. What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?
There are no rights or wrongs when it comes to grief. Don’t let others dictate what you can or can’t do. This is your journey, and you can grieve on your own timeline.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?
My greatest wish is to provide hope. You can be happy again. I like to say that good things have happened to me in spite of my loss.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Facebook Author Page | Website | Amazon
Danell was living her dream life with her husband Patrick and two daughters when he left for a morning bike ride and never returned home. Danell was suddenly a single parent who was faced with learning to move forward on an unfamiliar path. Danell treasured the impact Patrick had on the lives of others and dedicated herself to making that kind of difference in the future.
In Suddenly: A Widow’s Story of Unexpected Loss and Healing, readers will discover how Danell:
Used writing to record memories while they were fresh, helping to process grief
Discovered a new purpose through introspection
Strengthened family traditions and created new ones
Allowed herself to experience happiness and joy after the grieving process
Supported her daughters as they found their own purpose
Danell found strength in the stories of other widows. She aspires to have her story provide hope for others experiencing loss.
We Are All Worthy Of Love
Redemptive Trauma: Confession of a Defrocked Priest shares your story about living with addiction and mental health issues and how you now advocate for the de-stigmatization of them. Why was this an important book for you to write?
The book is a memoir; a eulogy to both the first half of my life and my life as an ordained Anglican priest. It is a book about male vulnerability and learning the deep value of empathy, while tackling mental health and the associated stigma, which often buries those who suffer. I tell stories about sex, drugs, alcohol and abuse, through the lens of grace, mercy and love. This book is about generational trauma and rediscovering family. Ultimately, Redemptive Trauma is about reconciling hope, and calling home prodigals of all kinds.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
The hardest thing to write about was my Mum. In many ways, we grew up together. There is no one who sacrificed more so I could tell my story.
What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?
Idea 1: Love is the most bullshit word in the English language. Understanding the lack of English vocabulary for love, and discovering new ways to break open the word at its core, provides new lenses to see the heart of one of the most important words across all languages.
Idea 2: We are all worthy of love. No matter what you have done; no matter what you are going to do… you are worthy of some form of love.
Idea 3: Secrets keep people sick. Secrets are what cause families to stay quiet about abuse, and trauma, and neglect. Secrets are how addicts force their loved ones to enable their behaviour. Secrets are how gossip poisons communities and relationships and toxifies the brain with deceit. Failure we all have. Darkness we all face. Brokenness we cannot escape. But secrets, we can defeat.
What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?
No matter how bad things are: There is hope.
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Website
Having spent a decade as an Anglican cleric in Southwestern Ontario, David served in leadership in three urban social-justice focused appointments as a priest in the Anglican Church of Canada. David was deprived of ministry and terminated from his appointment as incumbent priest of his parish on December 12th, 2018. He was in his fourth month on medical leave. David was formally accused, investigated and found guilty of sexual misconduct, all while he was drugged out, melting down on social media.
As someone working to heal from traumatic stress injuries from childhood, David’s diagnosis with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 2018 led him to become a public advocate for the de-stigmatization of mental health and addiction issues (especially when related to generational trauma). He quickly learned the challenges and opportunities this presents, as he himself is one of the examples. Redemptive Trauma: Confession of a Defrocked Priest is a memoir embracing hard truths of trauma to help others heal their own.
David holds both a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree from Huron University College at the Western University in London, Ontario. For most of his adult life, David served as a street-involved pastor in Toronto and London. His major focuses of ministry were related to social outreach, restorative justice, and learning to wrestle with life and faith in the rapidly evolving social media age.
The author is almost certain that if you don’t like stories about sex, drugs, rock stars, alcohol, and the uneven rise and fall of the guilty and the innocent, you probably won’t like the Bible either. Or this book. Otherwise, go ahead, dig into both.
Redemptive Trauma
Redemptive Trauma: Confession of a Defrocked Priest is a deeply personal and engaging exploration of the complexities of author David Giffen’s life experiences. Born to immigrant parents and raised in Canada, David’s childhood was marked by instability and a lack of emotional support. His parents’ separation only exacerbated his emotional struggles, leading him to seek solace in a life increasingly detached from reality. As he matured, David became embroiled in the world of sex, violence, alcohol, and drugs, trying to escape his troubled past. Despite his rebelliousness, he longed for stability and normalcy. Ultimately, he turned to spirituality and became a priest, starting a new chapter in his life. However, his past continued to haunt him, and he was eventually stripped of his priesthood due to his vulnerability.
Throughout the book, David’s writing is candid and introspective, inviting readers to explore his struggles and the challenges he faced on his journey. His reflections on spirituality and religion are particularly insightful, offering a nuanced and deeply personal account of the role these forces played in his life. His writing is infused with a sense of hope and resilience, reflecting his unwavering commitment to self-improvement. The book is structured non-chronologically, which may be confusing at times, as it can be easy to mix up the past and the present. Nonetheless, the writing is easy to follow, and David’s unfiltered accounts of his childhood provide a refreshing perspective on the issues of addiction and spirituality.
Redemptive Trauma is a compelling and honest memoir that offers a unique perspective on one man’s journey through life. I highly recommend it to readers seeking an engaging and deeply personal account of the challenges of addiction, spirituality, and self-discovery.
Pages: 138 | ASIN : B08LR15B1V
A Pain in the Gut
A Pain in the Gut by Joseph C. Way provides a different and distinct approach to changing unhealthy behaviors. In many cases, unhealthy behavior stems from the mismanagement of emotions and taking the wrong approach to easing pain in the gut, which can become the beginning of addiction or abuse. Every human has addictions, and their severity depends on the pain and what alleviates it. The author discusses how love is the solution to all problems, and only after the removal of pain and learning to manage our emotions can we begin to heal.
Healing is love; we can begin the process with ourselves or receive support from family, friends, and others. Comprising twelve chapters, the book is short, precise, and effective, giving the reader tools to recognize and address unhealthy behaviors. Instead of focusing on theories and general statistics in detail, the book aims at a more practical approach to simplifying how we handle pain and improving how we heal ourselves.
I enjoyed how the author uses models to illustrate the link between unhealthy behaviors and addiction, to make the process simple and easy to understand. The writing flows in a smooth, informative style, which makes it easy to follow, with real-life and hypothetical instances that readers can relate to personally. Joseph C. Way narrates the story from his perspective, which makes it credible, as he has worked forty years as a pastor, therapist, and counselor. He includes numerous examples and anecdotal stories from patients, addicts, and others dealing with various situations.
A Pain in the Gut by Joseph C. Way is a compelling read, and I highly recommend it to anyone struggling with unhealthy behaviors or addictions. It’s a refreshing read that helps individuals tackle challenges in life by offering quick, effective ways to manage the pain in the gut.
Pages: 196 | ASIN : 097006151X
Rooted HEIR
Rooted HEIR by Christina Somera is a memoir focusing on the traumas and events of Christina’s life and her path to understanding and healing from them. Starting on her childhood and the abuse she experienced that later put a wrench in her relationship with her mother and children, Christina acknowledges the unresolved feelings she’s been burying over the years. Yet, sharing her thoughts and feelings about each chapter of her life continues to bring her closer to the woman she wants to be.
Scared of becoming her mother and her family falling apart, Christina does everything she can to keep her family together but, in the process, grows distant from her kids, struggling to form the relationship she lacked growing up. Constantly seeking validation and love from men, Christina repeatedly tries to fill a hole she’s had since childhood. Rather than taking the time to love herself, she does everything she can to get the men in her life to love her or find new men to love her. All of these struggles Christina goes through are part of the journey she shared in this inspirational book.
From the first page to the last, this book wrapped itself around my heart. It was absolutely inspirational. Christina’s story is a heavy one; after all that she has been through, the steps she took to heal are genuinely unique. I loved this book so much; I don’t often give a 5/5, but Rooted HEIR deserves it. As Christina shares the events of her life and the trials she overcame, she inspires others to heal. I love that there are so many lessons we can take away from this book, the most important to me being that you can’t give something you don’t have for yourself. You can’t properly love or be loved until you love yourself first. Forgiveness and healing are a journey; neither can be rushed, and neither should be put on hold.
Christina’s book is not only well written, but it is empowering and inspirational. Yes, her story is an emotional rollercoaster, but her words prove the steps she took to overcome her past and show her strength. This book is eye-opening because you never know what people are going through, even if they’re smiling. This book definitely has sensitive topics: physical abuse, emotional abuse, rape, and suicide. However, they are all raw truths about Christina’s life that took a lot of strength for her to reminisce and process, reflecting on her strength and courage and inspiring others to keep going.
Rooted HEIR is an intensely emotional memoir about survival and learning to thrive after abuse and trauma. Christina’s story is as inspirational as it is heartbreaking. Through all the trauma, she has found who she really is and is learning to thrive and sharing this message with others so they too can break free from their shells and be who they are meant to be.
Pages: 155 | ASIN : B0BGCS3NHR
You Can’t Live Your Life From a Place of Fear
Thriving After Sexual Abuse shares your story of recovery and gives other abuse victims a starting place on their own road to recovery. Why was this an important book for you to write?
As part of my healing journey, I did a lot of journaling and poetry writing. My husband always encouraged me to share my story to help other survivors, but I didn’t think I could write a memoir about my experiences. As a survivor of trauma, I have difficulty placing the abuse memories in the context of my life outside of the abuse. This is pretty common for survivors. I didn’t feel I had enough of a storyline to put together a meaningful memoir.
And then the story about Dr. Larry Nassar and his abuse of so many girls and women gymnasts came out, and my heart was broken open by how many were suffering because of this one man. I thought to myself that someone should do something to help these women, and others like them, to heal from the trauma of their abuse. And that is when I realized that I could do that; I could write a book about my experiences in the context of my healing journey. I could share the practices and activities that helped me heal as an inspiration for others to begin, or continue on, their own healing journeys. That was the motivation I needed to write my book.
I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?
It was very challenging to write about how much the abuse affected me before I started my healing journey, to delve back into those years of shame, confusion, anger, and suffering. It was incredibly difficult to put those words on paper and to relive those experiences. But it was also very healing to see how far I’ve come and where I am in my life today compared to where I started.
The other most challenging part to write was the “Who Knew What and When?” chapter. To go back and consider who could have known about the abuse and had not stepped in to help me was tough. And to write that chapter in a way to help others go through the same process took quite a while to piece together. But I think it brought clarity for me to understand how and why I dealt with the relationships with those people they way I did as I moved forward in my healing journey.
What is one piece of advice someone gave you that changed your life?
A friend of mine once told me “You can’t live your life from a place of fear.” I was angry at him when he told me that! But I came to realize he was right. That I was keeping myself from living a life of thriving and joy because I was afraid of people finding out about my childhood abuse, afraid of being rejected or pitied, afraid of being my true self. Once I took his message to heart, I was able to be brave in my authenticity and live from a place where no one and no past experiences could control me or the life I wanted to create.
What do you hope is one thing readers take away from your story?
That healing from sexual abuse is possible.
That you are strong enough to start a healing journey that will take you to a place of thriving, and you deserve every minute of that joyful life!
Author Links: GoodReads | Twitter | Facebook | Website
Thriving After Sexual Abuse
A walking guide on healing practices and experiences from the victim of sexual abuse, Denise Bossarte’s Thriving After Sexual Abuse intends to help victims break free of the shackles of self-blame and feelings of unworthiness following sexual abuse.
The book is broken into four parts, each of which attempts to introduce and educate the reader about different methods, approaches, and self-analysis they can use to come out and win over abuse, transforming into a confident, more vital being with a sense of self-esteem and being loved.
With its four sections, the first part is the foundation of the healing journey, which includes choice of therapy, meditation, and reading self-help books. These sections encompass the author’s own experiences, options that she has explored and adopted for her healing process in her journey towards choosing from a variety of anxiety-provoking steps for a newcomer off on the path of release from the trauma of abuse.
Part two of the guide concentrates more on practices that are easy to adhere to and adapt and that have been scientifically proven to contribute to an overall feeling of well-being among humans. Here are some fun ways to improve connection with suppressed emotions using interesting, engaging, and convenient options such as yoga & creative art. A therapist’s constant guidance on some trigger-inducing practices is advised, just as in part one of the book.
Part three focuses more on the insecure questions that keep coming to the surface in the survivor’s mind that must be answered for overall healing. It presents explicit information about dealing with body triggers and memories and confronting the blocked memories of abusive experiences to overcome fear and anxiety related to such memories.
The fourth and last part contains the journaling of the author, a healing practice highly recommended by her. It includes the poems, which result from the healing process that allowed the author to identify & address her suppressed traumatic emotions. From a victim filled with fear, anxiety, and self-doubt regarding her worth to a healed, confident survivor who flourished in the world, these poems describe the journey of Dennis Bossarte.
Denise Bossarte, a victim of incest at the hands of her grandfather, shares in an easily perceivable manner the step-by-step process for healing that she applied. The resources such as books, meditation apps, and links to numerous support programs are an added bonus for readers who lack any external guidance. There is a considerate and polite tone to the book that leaves the ultimate delivery of healing to the survivor. Each section ends with a question that allows the survivor to reflect on the entire process and the subsequent effects, giving them complete control over how to proceed.
Thriving After Sexual Abuse is a valuable guide that offers excellent support to a traumatic abuse victim, as they get first-hand knowledge of the process of healing directly from someone who successfully applied it and eventually transcended her journey to thriving.
Pages: 252 | ASIN : B0937GR5MR
