Paradoxical: What I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married, by Richard Homawoo, is a book that is summed up by the title. The author gives the exact tools and techniques that anyone, who is hoping for an honest authentic relationship, can use. Homawoo goes chapter by chapter unpacking his title and gives the readers easy morsels of information to digest, while also sharing his experience and knowledge of marriage and relationships. He covers the whole spectrum from knowing “yourself” to knowing what works within a relationship. He does this while still maintaining a very conversational tone, unpacking any jargon or other complicated terminology as it comes up. Overall, it comes across as an accessible book for anyone with passing interest in love.
What struck me first with this book, is how upfront Homawoo is with himself and why he chose to write on this topic. Love is often a complicated and complex thing to understand, especially in the context of marriage, yet here he has managed to simplify it enough to contain it within 200 pages. His writing is very clear and his roadmap is easy to follow as he goes from topic to topic.
Being recently married, I found some of the subject matter rather self-explanatory, if not obvious, but then Homawoo clearly aims to give this book to those who have yet to fall in love and experience it. His approaches to the various topics of compatibility and working with your partner are practical without any hiding the often “messy” reality. He maintains a very honest tone, especially with describing how love can feel at the outset, but also after the “honeymoon” phase as well. Love is no picnic!
Despite Homawoo’s own admittance that he is a shareologist not a therapist or counselor, I appreciated his incorporation of other writers and thinkers, such as Freud and Socrates. If nothing else these earlier thinkers help engage those readers, who may be seeking supplemental reading and could pursue those writers after reading Homawoo’s. It was one feeling I did receive from reading this book, which is that it felt like an introduction. He does mean this book for young couples and those just beginning to understand the often “paradoxical” nature of love and what that entails.
The best piece of advice, for even a seasoned “lover”, was his tips for managing certain aspects of the relationship. These aspects include stress, decision, and conflict management. I believe I’d heard of such things in the past, but Homawoo is able to explain them in a succinct and linked way that makes it part of a greater whole. I would say that most of this is connected to a greater whole, because it is love after all.
I’d recommend this book for high schoolers and college students, especially those in serious relationships. It would even be a good read for those of us in long term relationships, because it is always nice to have a reminder.
Pages: 226 | ASIN: B01NBJ68R9
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The Jealous Flock by Ashley Borodin is a realistic fiction story that centers around the slightly strained relationship of a married couple and their lives as individuals in partnership and their young adult son. The narrative drops readers directly into the lives of the characters featured and lets you explore their lives and innermost thoughts as they struggle with identity and the maturing of unique ideas. Heavily geared towards deep thinking, challenging societal ideals, and the mass acceptance of those who are different, The Jealous Flock is a story that is designed to open the audience’s mind and heart and think outside of the box.
What seems to be an ordinary, white picket fence family in England takes the spotlight in a vivid narrative from each character’s point of view. Hints of tension between Doris and Martin, a married couple both caught up in their jobs, play their part on their son John who is beginning to phase into his adult life from that of a teenager. As Martin travels to Afghanistan to help stop a potential blood bath with jihadists, Doris is left at home to struggle through the differences in her personal opinions and morals as they pertain to her career in the law as a PR agent. Meanwhile, left behind in his parents own crisis, John quits his respectable job and flees overseas where he hopes to find himself and pursue his passion for photography. In Australia, he follows the steps of his father in participating in protests that aren’t always peaceful to defend Muslims battling hate and discrimination. Here he meets Randall, an unhappy widower pursuing an unusual relationship with a transgender prostitute who is stuck in her own shell of self-hatred.
The relationships in The Jealous Flock are realistic and relatable, breathing life into the characters both on their own and in harmony with their counterparts. The story takes on a political drive with themes of racism, xenophobia, and sexism as strong elements in the plot. Dynamics between the father and son of this story are particularly captivating, as Borodin manages to catch those meaningful moments that happen during the shift from parent to lifelong friend and mentor.
Ashley Borodin makes a strong call to arms to fight against society’s expectation of us in any walk of life. In a way, the author has created a coming-of-age story not just for young adults but for those in later years as well. This story dives deep into your thoughts and twists open the cap on unique thinking and encourages ideas of change and acceptance. The graphic, bold way that the author takes depression and insecurities relatable to everyone is a refreshing breath of life and gives you the chance to realize that you are more than what a shallow skin can provide for you. Though a bit wordy and emotionally daunting, Borodin transcribes a striking narrative that has the ability to strike the hearts of those who yearn for something more than mundane life.
Pages: 66 | ASIN: B01NAPZWB8
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A man of God does not always equate to a Godly man. In Sharon Moore’s novel Hidden in Plain Sight the reader is submerged into the life of two Bishops; Bishop James Collins and Bishop Quincy Stewart. Both minister to super churches in the Research Triangle Park area of North Carolina. They have competing congregations that appeal to similar groups but the two Bishops have drastically different goals and priorities. Both men are married and like their churches, their marriages are different and mirror their situations. Playing off well known images of the African American society Moore draws the reader into the culture surrounding the life of the people and families that make these super churches function. The novel also reminds us that just being ordained in the house of God does not remove one from all sin and does not make one perfect.
This story takes place in modern time, going back to the early 60’s when the characters meet. You learn how James Collins and Quincy Stewart meet their wives and start building up their mega church communities. The readers are also introduced to Jason White, the 29-year-old, grew up and out of the ghetto man, that has a chip on his shoulder and is out for revenge. It is discovered early in the novel that one of the Bishop’s is his father, but it isn’t said right off who. Jason’s mother, Bridgett, has recently died and his aunt tells him the truth about his family and father. This sets him off and he decides to seek out his father for revenge but he is unsure what exactly he wants. While seeking out his father he himself starts finding himself taking an interest in becoming and more Godly man. While James Collins appears the model Bishop with a happy family life, there is some underlying tension with his oldest son Lee. Quincy Stewart is quickly shown to be an abusive and manipulative man who cares only for his own needs and appearances.
The stories of the bishop’s families and Jason White all intermingle by the end of this novel. Outside influences play a large part but so do the internal struggles of each character. One disappointing point of this novel is the ending. This book is the first in a series, typically in a book series, one story line would be concluded with tie ins to the next novel, this book ends like a TV series season ending, cliffhanger with no resolution and just many questions. I found this frustrating especially given the volatile situation one character ends up in.
Moore does a good job bringing out the personalities and culture of her character’s environment. The use of traditional African American dialect is used not to be profane or show ignorance, rather it is indicative of the normal conversational language of the culture. She also does a good job showing how the mega church culture is more than just a church, it is a life style for those that their entire lives revolve around the church. Hidden in Plain Sight shows the good and the bad involved with the community and struggles and challenges it presents, especially on the families living it. Over all it is a great start to the series and I look forward to seeing how things go in the lives of all the characters.
Pages: 290 | ASIN: B01JBKHIZY
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